Saturday, September 6, 2014

Apartment is getting emptier

I have to work on the apartment in some way every day.  Today I got rid of  my every day dishes called "Golden Rooster" and made by Certified International.  Loved them, but not going to store them (plus they were ridiculously heavy).  I think I loved the coffee mugs the best because I got a lot of coffee in each mug!  I also got rid of all my silverware.  So I'm sort of down to plastic stuff or my camping sporks.  Oh well, I'll just make do.  

I got rid the sofa two days ago and in the process smashed one of my little toes on my right foot against a low brick retaining wall outside... think I'll be losing that nail!  Still not sure if I broke the toe or not.  It doesn't hurt to walk on it... usually... but if it tweaks at all, then I'll for sure give up a yelp of pain!

I really, really need to get to the thrift store with clothes and other stuff.  My neighbor said she would take me.  Even so, I haul out what I can when I can in the two rear panniers on the bike.

Four weeks from today I will be down in London trying to get some rest before the big Palace to Palace ride.

I still need to raise support for it, so anyone who is interested in giving, here is the link to do so. Everyone who goes has to raise £120 for the Prince's Trust

So, I still have some niggling things to take care of - like getting all my receipts logged in for my taxes for 2014, seeing my tax guy, and also visiting the WGA to change my address to my sister's address so that my yearly residual checks can go to her house and she can deposit them for me.  I'm low, low person on the totem pole at the WGA, so I can't even change my address online.  I need to stop by in person.  Sort of a pain, but thankfully they are only 2 miles away.  


Oh, and I have 250 hand decorated cookies to make in the next 10 days or so... as I'm making all the cookies for the rest of the year for my one client.  It will help me to leave Los Angeles not quite so broke.


I do not miss these things that I am giving away.  That's all they are - things.  I am stripping my life pretty much bare.  Some day I will rebuild from the bottom (or maybe not!), but for now owning things is not important.  Having things and being sentimental about them has never been important to me anyhow.  Things are perishable.  Even cases of old writings hit the trash bin.  No way was I going to pay to ship that stuff into storage with one of my sisters.   Out it went, no regrets.


Sometimes I'm sort of wired with the "no regrets" personna.  One of the most memorable times of it was when I was just getting into Girl Scouts after having gone through Brownies, and there was a girl scout meeting at the local scoutmaster's house, and I didn't go.  They called me up wondering where I was, and I said that i would rather play with my brother and his friends and that I wasn't interested in scouting.  I never regretted that.  It wasn't that I was particularly tomboyish but that there weren't a lot of girls my age in the neighborhood.  My brother and his friends were constantly off in the woods building forts and having adventures, and that was far more interesting than earning some silly badges in Girl Scouts.  


Relationships have come and gone in my life too, and sometimes it's like flipping a light switch off.  When it's done, it's just done.  No tears, no weeping.  Just done.  Well, except for the one guy.  I think if he were to ever walk back into my life, I might find myself  falling in love with him all over again, but it would be just as unrequited from him as it ever was.  Thankfully, I doubt I will ever see or communicate with him again.  I'm sentimental a bit for him, but that's partly because I suspect he'll be the last one I ever fall in love with.  From this point on, I just really don't have the energy or time for that falling in love nonsense, and to be honest, I'm not very good at it anyhow.  For me, being single is the safest, most secure position in life that I can have.  Being single as a lifelong lifestyle is not for most people, but it sure is for me.  That is not to say that there isn't a part of my soul that has desired a more permanent relationship, but part of me has always known that I prefer to be alone.  I remember when I was sixteen that I told my mother that the perfect marriage for me would be to a Navy man who was gone on a submarine for nine months of the year.  She retorted, "That's not much of a marriage!"  But I knew even then that my private time and downtime were so precious that I did not ever want to sacrifice them to someone.  It never would have mattered to me if I were a "football widow."  I'd be pushing the guy out the door every chance I got.  Go fishing!  Go hang out with the guys!  Just go!  Okay, so, now I've gone a bit too far sentimental, and that's probably more than anyone wanted to know about me - but maybe it will also help you to understand why bicycling solo doesn't frighten me.  I prefer alone.

2 comments:

  1. Glad your are taking your joy with you as you travel...I'm sure you won't regret m asking the next steps...dome still only dream about doing what are about to do...wish u the best...You are taking the Spirit with you...

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